I am a firm believer that the key to living a happy and healthy life is knowledge.

Many people walk through life thinking nothing about how their actions and how they will effect others, We also tend to not understand how our own actions can in turn effect our own personal lives.

You know that old saying “If I knew then what I know now my life would be different”? I am feeling that way a lot these days.

If I’d really known the lifestyle I led would have brought me to this path would I have still led that same lifestyle?
I am not really sure to be quite honest, I mean it was a series of events that led me down the path I took and if those events still took place would I still have not cared about my own well being?

The last 5 years I have focused on becoming a better person, a more understanding and less ignorant person but I thought nothing of my own physical health in that process.

You know there are all these new programs out there to teach people why not to smoke, why not to eat certain foods and why not to do this or that and I only now wish that these same programs and commercials had been made available many years ago. It may have stopped me from going down the road I did…But now I will never know.

It’s now not only a mission of self discovery it’s a mission to really save my own life.
If you read my last post you’ll know I am headed in for surgery to have my gallbladder removed. The stones formed due to high cholesterol because I have extremely poor eating habits.
It’s also effected my liver. I have what is called “Fatty Liver Disease” and if not treated correctly I can die from it.

In 2007 I was diagnosed bulimic, funny considering I am 90 pounds over weight. I struggled to wrap my own brain around how it was possible to have such a diagnoses, I still do.

But now it all comes into perspective, My lifestyle for many many years has taken it’s tole. Over eating or not eating at all, puking my guts out and binge drinking have all had a horrible effect on my body and I am scared out of my mind.

It’s now become one of those do or die moments in life, Either I stand up and learn everything possible to save my own life or continue on this downward spiral and give up and die. Because it’s a fact my insides have taken a beating and they are now crying out for help, I just hope I can muster up enough courage and strength to hear it’s call and change who I am as a women not only in mind and soul but in body as well.